No, I'm not going to put anything new up, because my art really sucks. Not all of it, mostly my emo stuff. And now that I'm out of that, I don't really know what I would write about. I probably won't log in here for another year, if ever. I just came to tie up some loose ends.
First off, I'll fill you in on what I've been doing the past two years since the last journal. I dumped the guy I was dating then in a "mutual breakup" which was basically me telling him it was over and him agreeing so that he could save face. I went to Japan for a month as an exchange student during the summer before my senior year. I graduated early and went to the community college. That summer I went to PSU and took the suicide Japanese course, which is three terms of Japanese in the summer term. While doing that, I stupidly dated this other idiot from high school for about a month before he dumped me because I wouldn't have sex with him. I have great taste in guys, don't I? after that, I moved back home to save money and get my two year degree. I'm taking 21 credits so I can graduate in time to take round two of the suicide Japanese class. I think the first time was just a cry for help. (joke.) I got sick of my long hair and I cut it off and dyed it. I like it a lot and wish I had done it sooner. I'm finally testing for my black belt, which is good. I want to deserve it though. My school passes people and skips people belts, and it isn't based on how good they are. I don't want to be one of them. I don't want my black belt to mean I just was patient and showed up to class, because I rarely do. ^_^ So this spring break I'm going to train like crazy. It's better this spring break though, because all the annoying people who started after me aren't there. I have people that are half my rank trying to teach me how to do stuff. I either ignore them or stare at them until they feel really awkward and shut up. There are only a couple of people like that though so it's ok.
I got a tattoo. I stopped spelling my name Jylll over a year ago. I got another parakeet. (Queen 3, other birds 0) I don't really want them any more because they are really loud and that won't work in a dorm. This summer any time I went in the shower they'd chirp like crazy and you could hear it down the hall. I don't want to give them away b3ecause I've had Queen forever and I want to see how old she gets. It's amazing she's lived this long, especially since I'm really bad at taking care of her. If I ever have kids they'll die within a week. I went to Japan again last November for two weeks by myself. The thing I hate about my Japanese classes is that I can survive but I can't have any sort of real conversation with anyone.
People always go on about how sad it is that people change so much after they go to college. I think that it is because people can't handle it when other people change. Right now I feel really trapped by my reputation and it will be really nice to have a fresh start when I leave. It isn't a bad thing when people change, it's just different. But I think that I change a little bit at a time and people don't notice it and still think I'm the same. I want the outside Jill and the inside Jill to be the same person, rather than different people. I'm sick of that, and I'm sick of being what people want me to be.
As for my deviations. I've been asleep for a long time and I'm just now waking up. I don't want to say I was depressed, because I think it just makes people wonder why I don't take drugs or thinking it is caused by one problem. It was a lot of different things all combined and not enough knowledge about how the world worked. I usually just assume people tell the truth to me, which in general works ok, but sometimes it doesn't, especially when people tell you how you should be and tell you who you are.
When I leave for PSU again, that's when my life will actually start. And I don't ever want to go back to where I was. Ever.
So I bid you adieu.